Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
