Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
