hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
