i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
