oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
