My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
