Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
