im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
