C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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