He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
