Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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