I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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