Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
