I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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