I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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