He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
