I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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