They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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