I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
