I'm gonna have a badass scar
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
