I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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