chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We need to get me chipped asap
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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