Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We got so high we made milksteak
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
