Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
