the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
