one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
