farters have to be the big spoon...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
