no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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