the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
