nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
