What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
