im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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