I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
