There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
