I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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