Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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