so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
