Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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