if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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