she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
