After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
