It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
