Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
time to smoke my breakfast
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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