Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
