I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
