Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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