Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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