Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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