Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
