With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
