I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
