So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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